Pepperoni nipples
In the spirit of Peter King from SI.com and other writers, here are a bunch of random thoughts and opinions and musings and rants. And try not to stare at the pepperoni nipples. It makes me nervous ...
- Favorite band of the moment: Black Eyed Peas. Great hooks, catchy beats, and inventive lyrics. And Fergie. But be careful, boys. By remaking "Let's Get Retarded" into "Let's Get It Started" and plastering it all the over the NBA Playoff media push, you're threatening to become the next overplayed, can't-possibly-live-up-to-the-hype artist (see Hootie).
- Overrated hotness: Cameron Diaz, Gwynneth Paltrow, Uma Thurman, Lindsay Lohan. Underrated: Amanda Bynes, Victoria Pratt (who?).
- The NFL funky name of the day: Bubby Brister.
- The Mexican Hat Dance or The William Tell Overture or wacky carillon bells as your cell phone ringtone don't impress me. It's not cute, it's not neat, it's annoying and embarrassing. Just make it ring or buzz or beep. Or download Jay-Z. But then maybe I should shut up since my ringtone is Bach's Toccata & Fugue in D.
- When it comes to coffee creamers, skip the Hazelnut or French Vanilla and go to the Irish Creme. You'll thank me.
- Bars that water down their Jack Daniel's or fill their Jack bottles with some generic bourbon like Kentucky Gentleman should have their liquor licenses revoked. God, I hate that. Do you think we won't notice or care?
- OK, I'll admit it. I watched the new "Amish In The City" reality show on UPN. And enjoyed it. Strange as it may seem, I identified more with the Amish kids than the city kids.
- And from the History Channel, 'Modern Marvels: Distilleries' is an instant classic.
- So everybody thinks they can sing now? Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Kelly Osbourne, and William Hung all have CDs out or on the way, and we fight for every gig we have. Amazing.
- Recipe for a 'Dark & Stormy': Dark rum (Gosling's or Meyer's Dark) mixed with Ginger beer (not ginger ale - find it in the Latin/Caribbean foods section) over ice. Mix it good and strong, or the spiciness of the ginger beer will kick your ass.
- Salsa is the new ketchup.
- Johnny Damon needs a haircut, as does Michael Vick (that's for you, Nate).
- Overrated: Rolling Stones. Underrated: The Who.
- Also underrated: Michael Anthony from Van Halen.
- Nothing looks better on a girl than a pair of well-fitting jeans.
- PETA drives me nuts.
- Buckle up: It's not just a safety tip, it's the law.
3 Comments:
mmmmmm...nipples
Very transparent Paulie. The only reason you like Michael Anthony from Van Halen is because he plays a Jack Daniels bass guitar.
And that's a bad thing, Steve-O? I want one of those Jack Daniel's basses; that would be immensely cool.
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